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The world of the dominatrix, however, is not exactly as you might imagine. Far from being a seedy, frightening world of pain, power and darkness, my dungeon is more like an arena for adult role-play, where fantasies are explored and the mind freed from everyday stresses. Everybody needs escapism.

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The S stands for Sadism — the art of hurting Someone else. The M stands for Masocism — the art of hurting Myself. But first, some housekeeping —.

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With Valentine's Day earlier this week and a new installment of that faux kink series in theaters you know the onethere's no better time to talk about BDSM. While some representations might be well-meaning, it's still a bummer that BDSM has been harnessed as a marketing ploy to make a buck. Despite what Fifty Shades might suggest, kink isn't about coercion but consent, if pain is involved it is eagerly asked for and given with pleasure, you don't have to be a billionaire to play — and, perhaps most importantly, it isn't inherently patriarchal by any means.

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BDSM is the umbrella term that covers all kinds of fetish, fantasy, dominance, and submission play. But it's often misconstrued as the act of hurting people and portrayed as only being practiced by people who are emotionally tortured. I've found that BDSM is mostly based on open-mindedness, trust, and intimacy.

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The Mistress is NOW. No Ordinary Woman. What qualities and facets does it encapsulate?

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A dominatrix might be of any sexual orientation, but her orientation does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. The role of a dominatrix may not even involve physical pain toward the submissive; her domination can be verbal, involving humiliating tasks, or servitude. A dominatrix is typically a paid professional pro-domme as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene.

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The term is the female version of the term "master," which refers to a male dominant. Consenting male and female submissives may be under the control of a mistress, who will often require that they perform any tasks she requests, including sexual activities. If a submissive is disobedient or does not please a mistress, the submissive may be punished.

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I make a living as a professional dominatrix. What does that mean? People as a general rule seem to be really curious when I mention my career, wanting to know how I got started, what exactly I do, why I do it, what must my husband think, and so on and so forth.

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Her movements have grace and purpose, her energy is calm and collected. She's immediately likable. And she's a professional dominatrix.

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A dominatrix or mistress is a woman who takes the dominant role in bondage, discipline and sadomasochism, or BDSM. Note that a dominatrix does not necessarily dominate a male partner; a dominatrix may well have female submissives, nor must the role of a dominatrix involve physical pain toward the submissive; her domination can be verbal, involving humiliating tasks and servitude. The term "domme" is a coined pseudo-French female variation of the slang dom. The pronunciation is identical to the term "dom", by analogy to one-syllable French-derived words like femme or blonde.

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